My Snot
by omelettethemusical
Summary: What happens when Hamilton gets sick? Well, now you nose... much more than you needed to. Parody of "My Shot".


_Disclaimer: I don't own Hamilton (duh)._

* * *

 **Hamilton:**

I am not blowing away my snot

I am not blowing away my snot

Yo, my nose is congested, I'm feeling really tested

and I'm not blowing away my snot

* * *

I'ma call in sick, I got the sniffles

I shouldn't complain, I'm not in pain, but my breath whiffles

The problem is, this illness leaves me feeling in pieces

I gotta pause after every word,

Just to be heard 'tween my sneezes

* * *

I drown in my own snot, it drips out of control

In my mouth it goes

All this gooey stuff makes me untouchable

Every other minute I reach for hand sanitizer

Oh crap, what rhymes with 'sanitizer'? - improviser

* * *

I carry this burden, this disadvantage

Haven't learned to manage

I don't have a cloth to brandish, I walk these streets panicked

My plan is go into a bathroom stall

And stay there until I don't feel sick at all

* * *

These are the

AL-LE-RG-I

ES- P.S., my oh my

My nose is running much too fluidly

Meanwhile, I know intuitively

It's not due to the humidity

And I'm about to go on a sneezing spree

This sickness ain't never gonna set me free

So I really should have stayed inside, you see?

* * *

I agree!

(You say in parentheses)

Don't be shocked when your doctor mentions me

I can't lay down these drugs for a second, see

Due to my ever-increasing dependency

* * *

(And I am not blowing away my snot

I am not blowing away my snot

Yo, my nose is congested, I'm feeling really tested

And I'm not blowing away my snot) x2

 **Lafayette:**

I dream of life without my allergies

My unrest decreases productivity

It heightens my facial sensitivity

Every night, I battle ineffectively with my snot!

 **Mulligan:**

Yo, I'm just a poor college student

But I really think that it would be prudent

To tackle this pandemic, it would give us a chance

To socially advance and help our finance

To get rid of this snot

 **Laurens:**

But we'll never be truly healthy

Until the common cold goes the way of pox and rabies

True, that I will not die

But I'd like to abate it, I hate it, my head is all full of snot

 **Burr:**

Geniuses, cover your noses

If you sneeze on someone, practice innocent poses

I'm with you, but you're covered in snot

I didn't think this had to be taught

If you cough, you're gonna get caught

 **Hamilton:**

Burr, don't be an idi-ot.

The nose gotta sneeze, just like blood gotta clot

When your eyes are shot and your forehead is hot

There's no point pretending to be well when you're not

* * *

Suppressing your cough won't make it stop

It'll just dry you out and your eyes will pop

We gotta stick together, those of weaker constitution

Glossing over the problem is not a * _devolves into coughing fit_ *

* * *

Oh, am I coughing too much? Sometimes I get overexcited

Shoot off at the mouth, I've never had a cold this bad before

I'm sorry if my sneeze is too loud.

 **Laurens:**

Let's get this guy away from the crowd!

 **All except Burr:**

(I am not blowing away my snot

I am not blowing away my snot

Yo, my nose is congested, I'm feeling really tested

and I'm not blowing away my snot) x2

 **Laurens:**

Blow, blow, blow (achoo), blow-oh-oh, blow-oh-oh, yeah

Wipe it on your lunchbox, wipe it on your used socks

Come on, come on, let's blow

* * *

Elbow, when you feel you gotta sneeze use your elbow

Tell your brother that he's got an elbow

Tell your sister that she's got an elbow

When are these allergies gonna let up, let up? Let up, let up

 **Hamilton:**

I take so much Claritin it feels more like a memory

When's it gonna kick in?

Will I get to sleep, or sneeze on the guy ahead of me?

If I feel it coming, do I hold it in or let it be?

Will there ever be an end to my allergies?

See, I thought I'd be over them by twenty

But now I'm older, it seems I have twice as many

Ask anybody why they sneeze so fast, and they laugh

Reach for a Kleenex, too late, wipe it on their sleeve

Scratch that, this is not allergies, it's the flu

And all the sickest brothers and sisters know it's true

Germaphobes oppose us, we take an honest stand

We blow our noses, reclaiming our sinus glands

And, if we finally get our health back,

Is that a guarantee that we'll get on the wealth track?

Or will the snot we expel begin an endless cycle

Of drugstore spending for our shelf rack?

I know the action in my nose ain't appeasing

But Jesus, between all the crying and sneezing

I've been dying and wheezing

We need to handle our tissue situation

I've been using toilet paper and napkins

My nostrils are aching

I'm past patiently waiting

I'm passionately searching for an explanation

Could it be something I ate in

Applebees, or is it just the season?

I can't calm down, I gotta know the reason!

* * *

 **All except Burr:**

And I am not blowing away my snot

I am not blowing away my snot

Yo, my nose is congested, I'm feeling really tested

And I'm not blowing away my snot

* * *

When will it let up, time to make some snot (x2)

When will it let up, let up, let up, let up

And I am not blowing away my - not blowing away my snot!


End file.
